Looking back upon my youth, I can only recall one specific time that I ever uttered the words “I hate you” to someone else. Sadly, that someone else happened to be my own mother. I don’t recall the reason why I said it (though I’m sure it was a foolish one), but I do remember I was probably less than 8 years old. I guess you could chalk it up to the ignorance and idiocy of my youth as I didn’t quite understand nor recognize the sheer weight of those words, let alone their true meaning. My mother was quick to respond in kind with those very words as she left me in my state of anger. I don’t remember if I ever officially apologized for that incident, or if I told her I loved her afterwards, but I do remember the shame and remorse that I felt when I made the attempt to do so.
I grew up with quite a few musical influences. I was an 80’s child, with much of my listening coming from the wide variety of music that my brothers and mother listened to. From Metallica, The Cure, Stevie Wonder, Queen, Kraftwerk, Earth Wind & Fire, the Beastie Boys, Michael Jackson, to the “light rock, less talk” type, I’d say I have been exposed to and consumed quite an interesting smorgasbord of genres. There’s one thing that I can say for certain.
I love music.
Long ago, when the Internet was relatively young and social media was still in its infancy, I used to frequent this website called Asian Avenue. It was essentially a community where you could create a profile page for yourself, upload pictures, and chat with other users. I suppose it was kind of like how dating sites are today, though I didn’t really use it for that purpose. (Okay, maybe I did sorta kinda meet my ex there, but that’s not important…) Webcams and digital cameras weren’t common electronic devices back then, so getting pictures of yourself uploaded onto the web was somewhat of a task. You either had to have a webcam or a scanner. I didn’t have a webcam at the time, but I did have a scanner. Unfortunately, I had a very limited selection of pictures of myself to scan and the ones I did have were quite dated at the time. Obtaining pictures of myself was mostly limited to those taken during special events like weddings or school portraits. Instead of waiting for the next of those to occur, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I turned off the lights in my room, placed a towel behind me to block out external light sources, and opened up the lid on the scanner. I pressed the scan button and tried to remain as still as I could while the light of the scanner slowly worked its way across the surface. I probably pulled 2 decent images of myself with that little endeavor. I remember also having a lot of fun manipulating the images by moving with or against the image sensor. As embarrassed as I am to admit to doing this back then, I suppose you could call that my first selfie.